Me....bloggin away!

bottom row from left to right: Mom's sister, mom's side grandmother, father's side grandmother, and father's sister.
Top row: me, mom, dad, my aunt and uncle...ALL ARE STILL ALIVE.

SO HERE'S WHY I HAVEN'T BLOGGED LATELY

My Uncle, one of father's brothers, passed away from pancreatic cancer just over a week ago. After being diagnosed, it took him rather quickly. So I've been a little busy.

It all started a little over a month ago when he seemed very healthy. Then, driving home to work one day, he had to pull over because of a sudden dizzy spell. My Uncle went to the doctor and they diagnosed him with having a minor stroke. They were not sure what caused it, despite running almost every test under the sun. A couple weeks passed and he was hit with extreme stomach pains. He went to the doctors and that's when they diagnosed him pancreatic cancer. He then got the grim news a few days later that he only had two weeks to live.

I had truly never been around someone so close who had gotten news that was so grim. The sadness that enveloped myself and my family was so heavy, I could feel it. I didn't know how to react, or what to think. My father, who is a very strong man, who probably had never shed a tear in his life, showed for a moment a sign of weakness. But he still didn't cry.

Family who could fly down from California, did so immediately and were housed at my parents house. The days to follow consisted of spending long waking nights at my Uncles house, comforting him and his family during his final days. Now were busy with funeral preparations.

Probably the most touching moment out of this entire experience was when my Aunt told me that my Uncle had turned to her and apologized to her for dying so quickly. He thought they would grow old together, and he was "so sorry." Being in the wedding industry, I'm always a witness to the beginning of the lifelong commitment of love. Now, I was a witness to the fulfillment of that promise. Honestly, the fulfillment is not pretty at all, it's extremely sad, it's confusing, it's depressing.

If you're wondering how I'm feeling...here it is.

There's an image right now burned in my mind. When my Uncle had stopped breathing, my father and our family went down to their house to be there. By the time we had arrived, he had gone. Viewing my Uncles lifeless body didn't really phase me too much. But it was when my cousin sat down by his father's lifeless body and just held his father hand, that image really got me. He sat there, for awhile, without a word, holding his hand. It was sad...really sad. I know there's going to come a time when I'll have to do that for my parents. And being the only child, I think, I know, it's going to be very very difficult for me. And just thinking about that moment and seeing that moment play itself in front of me, makes me very sad. It's depressing if you really think about it.

Overall though, I'm actually doing quite well. While I am of course sadden by this tragic change in our life, I am still 100% functional and still happy. I'm still working, marrying people, laughing, joking. In between all of this sadness, I even was a groomsman at a wedding. The only thing I'm not doing is...blogging. There's a part of me that just doesn't feel like writing about weddings at the moment.

But don't worry, I'll write more soon. You know me, I have always something to say. I'll write soon though.


Steve Young
http://www.dreamweddingshawaii.com