STEP ONE: FIGURING OUT YOUR BUDGET

With this picture, my cat, Junior, could run for President.
I promise, he will show more fiscal restraint than our government as he
has no idea how to sign a trillion dollar bill into law -- taken on my Canon G10

THE FIRST STEP: YOUR WEDDING BUDGET
Everything ultimately starts here

During our wedding ceremonies, our ministers always mention that being married means being one in flesh with the one you love. Reverand Elias Parker puts it best when he mentions that marriage is probably the only time in life where math does not make sense as 1 +1 = 1 not 2. This brings us to the topic of finances. In marriage, you are not only one in flesh, but also one in thought, one in action, and also...one in dollar. If you haven't already, you will share a savings account, share investments, retirements, and this sharing will ultimately begin before you get married when you start planning your wedding budget...TOGETHER.

So from here, I want you to throw out what you've learn from wedding books, magazines, etc..etc.., because in all honesty, they have no idea of what their talking about. Now, lets get started.

SETTING YOUR BUDGET

THE WRONG WAY: A wedding planner will often ask you two numbers when planning your wedding. One, being how much you want to spend; and two, what is your max ceiling you cannot go over. And ultimately, the wedding planner will end up putting together your wedding with the price tag falling in between the two.

THE RIGHT WAY: The truth is that your wedding budget is not set upon how much you want to spend or a max ceiling, but, on what you can SAVE IN CASH. Yes, cash is king when figuring out your budget. It's actaully that simple.

FINANCING YOUR WEDDING

THE WRONG WAY: I once learned of local wedding planners who were advising their brides to take out a second mortgage on their house to pay for their wedding. Unfortunately, that couple could never make up the debt, and ended up losing their house partially for throwing their "Dream Wedding." Was it worth it? No. The couple, brought upon through financial stress, divorced. The moral of the story, never fiance your wedding through debt which mathmatically doesn't make sense. This means not using large lines of credit or taking out loans to fiance your dream. If you do, your dream wedding, could turn into a long lasting nightmare.

THE RIGHT WAY: Let me repeat myself here. Cash is king. So the only way you should fiance your wedding is by saving. If you can only save $300.00 in cash for your wedding, then spend only $300 and not one dime more. If you can save $10,000 in cash, then your budget is $10,000...exactly. If you must use a credit card, make sure you can save enough cash to pay it off immediately.

THE NO. 1 BUDGET BUSTER

The biggest budget buster of any wedding is always the wedding reception. On average, you will spend $100 per head at your reception, even if you are just having a small dinner after your wedding. This means that if you have 200 guest at your reception, you will spend $20,000 just on food alone! That's not counting the cost of photography, the minsiter, video coverage, decorations, the cake, etc..etc... If you are having a wedding in your home state, you will most likely spend $20,000 to $40,000 on your wedding, because the head count for your wedding reception will get out of control. Escaping to Hawaii, or any destination, dramatically lowers the cost of your wedding because you go from having a 200 headcount reception, to a small family dinner of 10 in a fancy restauranti. This means, you go from spending $20,000 on food to $1000.00. Hmm....much better right?

The golden rule to keep your budget from busting is to keep the headcount of your wedding under control.

Beware of the following other budget busters:

1. THE SELF-INVITER: This is a friend, cousin, co-worker, or family member that hears that you're getting married in Hawaii and invites themself and their family. Their selfish action can automatically increases your budget by $200 per self-inviting couple! Self-inviting spreads like the plague. Once one friend for family member does it, then they all do it. Next thing you know, you have 50 people coming to see you elope at your wedding.
   
   How to avoid: Make sure you make it very clear to your friends and family that you are eloping (even though you may not be). Am I telling you to lie here? Well, yes, if it means saving yourself 1000's of dollars! Honesty may work as well, but most of the time it doesn't. Lately, I've been telling brides to point the finger to her fiance so she doesn't look like the bad guy. So you can say something like, "Well, ______ wants it to be only us, and he's pretty animate about that one part...so I'm sorry, you can't come." Of course, that makes your fiance look like a complete butthead, but it usally stops the self-inviter dead in their tracks.
   


2. THE MOTHER/MOTHER-IN-LAW - Sometimes mothers have a tendacy to start treating your wedding like their own then start inviting relatives and friends to come once they learn of your wedding. They knowingly increase your budget, but they offer to pay for some of your wedding. You agree, but now that mother/mother-in-law uses their generosity as leverage to as what goes on in your wedding.
   
   how to avoid: Honesty works the best here. Lay down the law. Upon announcement of your wedding, make sure that both set of parents know the guest who will be attending your wedding will be left completely up to you. You can listen to recommendations, but who makes the list and who gets cut remains to you and your fiance.

Your wedding is not a "Going into debt party." Remember that. All-in-all, even though it is your wedding, it is truly just a party. The more money you throw at a wedding does not translate into more years of happy marriage. If that were true, Hollywood couples would be the role model for most weddings. Be realistic when it comes to figuring out how much you want to spend on your wedding. If buying a house together takes priority over planning a large wedding, then do so...go small on your wedding plans. After all, all what matters in the end is your life together.

Till the next lesson!

Steve Young
The Hawaii Wedding Guru
http://www.dreamweddingshawaii.com/