A LITTLE BIT ON CHEATING

Jesse James, cheated on Sandra Bullock

A LITTLE BIT ON CHEATING
Ugh...

For as long as I can remember, I've always have been disgusted by those who cheat. Cheaters of course, come in all shapes and sizes. From the kid who cheated on his history test, to the celebrity who cheated on his beautiful wife, to the business partner who embezzled hundreds of thousands of dollars from his long time friend. Their lack of having a moral standard paints them as the lowest common denominator in society, in my non-humble opinion.

So the latest headlines is that Jesse James, husband to Sandra Bullock, cheated on her and his kids, and hurt Sandra so much, that she couldn't attend the promotional tour of her movie "The Blind Side," in Europe. Of course, James did what you'd expect any celebrity would do in this situation. He called his agent, then called a press conference. This press conference, even though it included a public apology to Sandra and his kids, truly had nothing to do with them but everything to do with holding onto his existing endorsement deals and entertainment contracts. The next obvious celebrity-step for James is for him to check himself into some type of therapy. Two weeks of therapy, he'll be good as new right? Worked for all the other celebs, why not for him.

Hey look, another press conference

We all know that cheating is not limited to celebrities. Why, we all personally know family, friends, teachers, and even pastors who tow the company line of immorality. And, we've all been victims as well. Personally, I had friends who stole money from me; family members who snatched my credit card from me, and I even had a few wedding couples who walked out from paying their entire bill with me!

I've always asked myself, "What motivates a cheater, a swindler, a trickster, to act? And moreover, how can I spot one?" I'm still trying to figure out that answer.

Cheating politicians

Now I'm sure this a very sensitive subject for many of my clients, brides and grooms. But I'm sure you asked yourself at one time or another, "Is this a man or woman, a person who will stay committed exclusively to me, like I will be to them?" And I'm 100% sure that you answered "Yes, he or she is that person." But don't all wedding couples begin their life together with that mentality?

How can a couple go from loving each other, to cheating on each other in the future, whether near or far? And is there anything a couple can do to make sure that this doesn't happen?

Well, I'll give you the plain straight up answer: Yes, there is something you can do, and the solution is quite simple. If you want your marriage to last, you need to keep dating your spouse even after you marry.

Bernie Madoff, swindled billions with no remorse

"Huh? Dating Steve? What do you mean?"

Well, I mean exactly what it sounds like. Date your spouse! I hear this from Dr. Laura all the time, and it makes complete sense. A wife should be their husband's girlfriend and a husband, should be their wife's boyfriend. I want you to remember when you first started dating. The effort you went through to romance each other. You did this because you didn't take your love for granted.

Don't take your love granted, even after your married. Date, romance, laugh...there always will be competition out there, and you should always know that you have to fight for your partners love. Now you don't have to fight a lot because you have a great home field advantage. You just need to try...because in the marriage arena, effort counts as a win. I don't want to dive further into this answer because I am not an expert. But I do recommend that you pick any of Dr. Laura's books for the in-depth solution to keeping marriage healthy.

Dr. Laura, the relationship guru, best sums up the "Proper and Feeding Care of Marriage" in this video:

This simple answer though, does not apply to jerks. So in Tiger's case, it wouldn't help that situation. He was cheating on his wife at his bachelor party, he never committed to her in the first place. He conned her.

Is a cheater always a cheater? I don't think so. People can change, for the better or for worse. Tiger can change. But that's not the point. Trust is the point. Can Tiger's wife ever trust him again? Only time will tell.

Well, I'm outta here. See...I blog about anything. I'm not afraid to attack any subject on here!


Steve Young
The Hawaii Wedding Report
http://www.dreamweddingshawaii.com